The Failed 1st IVF Cycle

So despite my positive thinking and wishing my first IVF cycle was a bust.

I took all my hormones and injections as well as blood tests and ultrasounds. It was finally time for the egg collection day-surgery.

Since Nathan and I don’t live together I had pre-arranged with him that he would collect me at 9.00am that day from my place and drive me to the clinic. I had to be admitted into the surgery at 9.30 and since I was to undergo a general aesthetic I was unable to drive. At 9.00am I patiently wait by my front door waiting for him to arrive….

That morning Nathan also had a VERY important job to do – the fresh sperm sample – so I thought perhaps he was distracted doing that and was running late so I didn’t call him to stress him out further. By 9.15am I was nervous so I call him for a status update and he says that he is still at home and working on producing  the sample. I was SUPER annoyed that he hadn’t even left home yet and yet here I was on the doorstep thinking he was on his way over…grrrrrrrrr…….. despite my annoyance I didn’t say anything negative I was casual and sweet by saying “i’ll get an Uber love no dramas see you there.” The Sample was of course the most important job of all and more stress and pressure on him was not the answer.

I catch an Uber its only a 15min journey to my clinic so no harm done. I sign the forms and give them my credit card…. [did I mention the cost is $10,000?].

Nathan is nowhere to be seen so I am escorted into the day hospital patient area and given a gown to wear and slippers. I observe lots of couples around me, and I curse that Nathan isn’t there to support me. I remind myself he has a very important job to do – The Sperm Sample!


At around 10.00am a very sheepish looking Nathan arrives. He apologises and says that despite his best efforts he was unable to produce a fresh sample. I was gutted. The IVF doctor reminded us that we had (earlier that week at my insistence) produced a frozen sample in case this happened so it can be thawed and used so no need to stress.

I went into the surgery with a silent prayer that I would get lots of juicy fertile mature eggs.

I woke in the recovery room with a piece of tape attached to my right palm. It said “18”. WOW 18 eggs collected – at 39 years of age. I was feeling pretty damn excited. Nathan took me home and looked after me that day.

I was told to expect a call from the IVF Lab person the next day – she will tell me how many of my eggs were fertilised.

It was a very long wait and a nervous one. The next day I received a call from the lab to say that it was very disappointing but that NONE of my 18 eggs had fertilised. Even though they collected 18 eggs only 11 of them were mature and of the 11 all of them died, even though they did a process called ICSI (injecting the egg with the sperm).

I was sooooooooooooo sad. That was $10,000 Gone. Finished. Wasted. For no benefit. Crap. Now what?